ireeeeennn :D ([info]ixair) wrote,
@ 2004-05-26 08:04:00
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Current Mood:eh.

I phone raped with Faith last night for lyke an hour and a half after I hung up with Mike. lol. And I have concluded that she is the most understanding person I know. If you lyke have ANY problems with ANYTHING, you can tell her and she'd understand and give you advice. shes the only person i know whos lyke that.

maybe i should just change who i am. cuz its not really pleasing anyone, really. maybe they just dont understand... simply cuz they aren't ME. im the type of person who would do ANYTHING to help ANYONE or make ANYONE happy. im the type of person who even though a person is a total bitch to her, she still says hi to her and still tries to help her when she can. im the type of person who if u picked a random person off the street and said "this person is going to die, but if you give your life instead then this person could live" and i would say yes. i really would. i would lay down my life to save someone's lyke pet cat or w/e if it really made that person happy. but these ppl dont seem to lyke that. they want ME to be happy. u know wut makes me happy? seeing people with a smile on their faces knowing that i put that smile there.


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[info]xyt
2004-05-26 07:23 am UTC (link)
haha... just kidding..

that is what i like about you... major reason..
but.. sometimes it seems a bit too extreme..

just take sometime to consider the people that feel bad when they find out that you have suffered for them...

well... i'm really sry about yesterday ok?....T-T)..

(Reply to this)


[info]ixair
2004-05-26 09:18 am UTC (link)
im really sry too. but u said u didn't want me to hide anything from you, so im juss going to tell you everything from now on.

(Reply to this)


[info]ixair
2004-05-26 09:19 am UTC (link)
especially when you asked me if anything about you bothered me and i said no. cuz there IS one thing...

(Reply to this)

From a Groupie
(Anonymous)
2004-05-27 07:25 pm UTC (link)
Ireen, don't give me that whole cat bull,you wouldn't do it, i know you woudln't. You just know it's the right thing, but you woudln't do it. You have no reason to. No reason to die, no reason to feel sympathy. You have no real pain. You have everything going, You don't go to bed, telling your parents that you're not going to wake up tomorrow, because you don't want to ever again. You don't stand at the top of your steps wondering if falling down them, will be enough to end the pain. You don't, i do. i do everyday.

(Reply to this) (Thread)
Re: From a Groupie
[info]xyt
2004-05-30 09:01 am UTC (link)
wow thats the most pathetic thing ive ever heard
your in freakin middle school you dont know wuts on the other side
your two young to die
the will to sacrifice one's life for another is a whole different story
but thinking about suicide cause your in pain?????
GIMME A BREAK!!!!!
there are thousands to millions of people out there just as or in even more pain than you will ever be
u live in a fucking house and have people to tell you right from wrong
you even have any idea how many people arent fortunate enough to even have that?

seems like your the one whos giving bullshit here
the mere fact that you are able to talk about life as if it were nothing.
the mere fact that you are able to talk about life as if it were something u could just give it away
FUCKING SICKENS ME TO THE CORE
Life is the the most precious thing given to mankind and you are willing to throw it away over a staircase???

WOW!! just please!! rethink your priorities and get a life = =)!

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)
Re: From a Groupie
[info]ixair
2004-05-30 09:06 am UTC (link)
he's got a point there. u should be grateful for what you have sujin.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

(Anonymous)
2004-05-29 03:42 pm UTC (link)
You know you're not the only person who would do that, so stop begging for attention; your life isn't so much different than everyone else's that you have the right to say things like that to get attention. Many people feel like this. But they're not bragging about it. Correct me if i'm wrong that your life is so much different, because i do not know you. I was just browsing...sorry.

(Reply to this)


[info]ixair
2004-05-30 08:46 am UTC (link)
don't mess with things you don't understand. and u don't know what i go through every day either. you might say that your life is hard, but our lives our hard too. and you know that. but you don't see us complaining and saying that we want to kill ourselves or wutever. and u say that i wouldn't die to make someone happy. maybe you're just not looking closely enough. 'cause there's more to me than what you see when i'm around my friends. thats not who i really am.

(Reply to this)


[info]ixair
2004-05-30 08:52 am UTC (link)
sujin, u think i'm that ireen who's perverted and jokes around and swears about two times in every sentence that comes out of my mouth. and yes, in some sense, i AM that person. but there's that other side of me. and despite the fact that you've known me longer than any of my other friends, you've never seen that other side. when i was a child i was that type of person who cursed off anyone who pissed her off, and wouldn't do shit for anyone. but i'm not that same person anymore.

(Reply to this)

From groupie
(Anonymous)
2004-05-30 07:59 pm UTC (link)
okay, this is for mike...
First of all FUCK YOU TOO (jkjk)
You have no fukin write to say that, you have no idea what i've been through. I'm only in middle school and i dont' know what's on the other side? Well,i've decided, i don't want to fukin know, isn't your childhood suppose to be this innocent, beautiful, sunshine, running in the sprinkler time? let me tell you something, i'm not innocent, my parents tell my i'm ugly everyday, and i've never run under sprinklers because my parents yell at me when i walk home in the rain and get wet (it's the fukin rain and rain=water, what do they want me to do)

and the home thing...i'd run away...my parents have told me to get out of their fukin house...and i would...if i had a life, and friends and somewhere to go...

You have no fukin idea what my life is...you don't know how it feels to know you'll never be good enough for your parents. You own parents who should be doing everything to make your best seem like it is the best. I'm trying. I really am. I used to do my best but it was never enough. I used to bring home 100s and 105s and first think they'd say, the first thing to come out of their mouths would be "was that the highest grade possible? Was there extra credit?"They didn't care if it was the second highest grade, or if it was my best. And say i did get the highest possible, they'd blame the school for being too easy. I don't know what they want.
dreaminghigh6: omg
XoBeBiixBLu3ox: YOU DONT
dreaminghigh6: you know what
XoBeBiixBLu3ox: STOP
dreaminghigh6: what am i good at
XoBeBiixBLu3ox: okay just stop
dreaminghigh6: i should ask my parents
dreaminghigh6: nothign
dreaminghigh6: i'll never be good enough
XoBeBiixBLu3ox: u know its funny
XoBeBiixBLu3ox: how u lyke
XoBeBiixBLu3ox: think more about what other ppl think of you
XoBeBiixBLu3ox: than what God thinks about you
XoBeBiixBLu3ox: ever thought about that?
XoBeBiixBLu3ox: because HE LOVES YOU
XoBeBiixBLu3ox: HE CARES
XoBeBiixBLu3ox: it doesn't matter if no one else does
XoBeBiixBLu3ox: when everyone wanted Jesus crucified
XoBeBiixBLu3ox: and everyone hated him
XoBeBiixBLu3ox: they spit in his face and cursed at him
XoBeBiixBLu3ox: did you ever see him give up?
dreaminghigh6: but ireen
XoBeBiixBLu3ox: when he carried his cross on his way to his own death and he fell
dreaminghigh6: i'm tired
dreaminghigh6: you know
XoBeBiixBLu3ox: he just stood and he kept going
XoBeBiixBLu3ox: JESUS WAS TIRED TOO
dreaminghigh6: this has happened all my fukin life
dreaminghigh6: since kindergarten
XoBeBiixBLu3ox: so that gives u a reason to GIVE UP??
dreaminghigh6: since when they first put smiley faces and stickers on papers
dreaminghigh6: no
dreaminghigh6: i was strong
XoBeBiixBLu3ox: YES
dreaminghigh6: i did my best
XoBeBiixBLu3ox: AND U NEED TO STAY STRONG
dreaminghigh6: but it was never enough
dreaminghigh6: it never will be
dreaminghigh6: you know what my mom said
dreaminghigh6: today
dreaminghigh6: after like two hours sitting in a chair and studying
dreaminghigh6: after i losed it
dreaminghigh6: she yelled
dreaminghigh6: to get out of the house
dreaminghigh6: she said if i didn't like her way to get out
dreaminghigh6: she said that she wouldn't accept anyhting else
dreaminghigh6: she refused to be the mother of a failure
XoBeBiixBLu3ox: so what did you do?
dreaminghigh6: A FAILURE
dreaminghigh6: i'm a failure
XoBeBiixBLu3ox: NO YOU'RE NOT
XoBeBiixBLu3ox: AND U KNOW THAT
XoBeBiixBLu3ox: GOD KNOWS THAT
XoBeBiixBLu3ox: AS LONG AS YOU KNOW YOU'RE DOING YOUR BEST AND GOD KNOWS YOU'RE DOING YOUR BEST THATS ALL THAT MATTERS
dreaminghigh6: that what i did until like last year
dreaminghigh6: then i realized who cares
dreaminghigh6: before i used to do everyhtin perfectly
dreaminghigh6: maybe hse'd stick something on the fridge
dreaminghigh6: but you know
dreaminghigh6: what's the fuking point
dreaminghigh6: last year
dreaminghigh6: i didn't care and i was happy
dreaminghigh6: I WAS HAPPY
dreaminghigh6: because that was how i wanted it
dreaminghigh6: but it's a lie
dreaminghigh6: i can't live a lie
dreaminghigh6: i don't even know who i am
dreaminghigh6: WHO AM I
dreaminghigh6: i want to know
dreaminghigh6: cause i really don't know

(Reply to this)


[info]xyt
2004-05-31 07:26 am UTC (link)
you know wut = =)...
#2 your hopeless
your problems are far out of my reach
no one can help you
because you are um.. VERY STUBBORN
so... pray ok? thats the only way

(Reply to this)


[info]ixair
2004-05-31 08:15 am UTC (link)
geez mike took u quite a while to notice that shes stubborn...

(Reply to this)

From 2
(Anonymous)
2004-06-02 07:20 pm UTC (link)
Wait....what????
i really don't understand Mike....but doesn't everybody not understand him? And i"M NOT FUKIN STUBBORN...besides, andyone hwo's lived my life would eb the same way i am, if they weren't dead already. I'm tired of complaining so i'm going to shut up now. and when i die, my friends can sit in a corner crying about how they could have helped (don't worry, you guys are great, you couldn't do more) but my parents will be the ones who will have the guilt trips. BECAUSE IT"S ALL THEIR FUKIN FAULT. They are the only bad part of my life right now

(Reply to this) (Thread)
Re: From 2
[info]xyt
2004-06-04 12:36 pm UTC (link)
just know that suicide isnt a way to set yourself free from the pain. its a one way ticket to hell. it says so in the bible that if you waste God's most precious gift, thats where your gonna end up. So.. i dont think you would want to take that risk.. because you will be in so much pain in hell that u would feel as if the pain your going through now is a tap on the shoulder

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